40 Days of Love – Day 26

Understanding God's Mercy

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--
not by works, so that no one can boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)

Grace has been described as "getting something you do not deserve". Mercy on the other hand has been described as "not getting what you do deserve". God's grace offers me forgiveness and eternal life and His mercy spares me the judgment and penalty I deserve for my sin.

Many times I find myself thinking that a person is just getting what they deserve and I am taking some delight in their pain or punishment. How merciless and graceless is that. To take delight in another's punishment is far from what God expects from his followers. This mercilessness also is seen at times when in I look down on others with a self righteous attitude. They are horrible sinners and I should have no contact with them after all I am to "avoid the very appearance of evil" (1 Thess 5:22). What a misuse of that verse in that context. We are not to avoid people who need the Lord, we are to go to them. We are not to participate in their evil but we are not to look down on them either. This can open a real can of worms for some people who want to nit-pick. Some people would build a "hedge of protection" around their families to keep them from being exposed or subjected to evil. I understand that desire but that same hedge that protects you keeps you from sharing the gospel with people who desperately need it. Jesus' prayer for us in John 17 was not to be taken out of the world but that He would take us through the world with his protection.

I get so irritated when I hear people in church trying to put artificial standards on who is welcome in our church. It is couched in "those people" terms. That was the problem Simon, the Pharisee, was having in the story the author related from Luke 7. He and the disciples were thinking in "those people" terms rather than in welcoming terms. Jesus saw the heart and Simon and the disciples were only thinking of their reputations.

I see myself way too much in the reading for today. I have worked on my attitude and behavior here for years and yet still from time to time see those old prejudices coming out. I must continue to focus on God's mercy, forgiveness and love in my life and then offer that to others. This showing of mercy and grace must characterize my life if I am to be the person God has called me to be.

What did this day's reading say to you?

40 Days of Love – Day 25

Say Now to Mercy

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Matthew 5:7 (NIV)

In his discussion of this beatitude D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones in his book of the Sermon on the Mount gives this insight into mercy. He teaches that "mercy" is allowing what breaks God's heart to break your heart. That speaks volumes to the reading for today on mercy. I agree with the author that integrity is removing the plank from your own eye first and mercy is then removing the speck from your brother's eye. The reason we remove the speck or at least try to do so is because the speck breaks God's heart. We are to be moved to action when we encounter things or situations that break God's heart because we love God and that demands that we love the people He created. How can we walk away from a hurting person without offering to help even as some personal risk. As the author said sometimes our mercy will be rejected or misrepresented or misunderstood but that cannot be allowed to keep us from showing mercy.

I wonder how often I have failed to show mercy because I left in a huff or thought the person deserved to hurt some more before a solution was offered. Too often I want my "pound of flesh" or I want someone to know just who does "have the power" or I just want some revenge. How ungodly are all of those reactions. It is interesting that even after acting that way I wonder why that person does not want to be around me.

When I show mercy I release all the negative and unrighteous feelings or desires that I have against the person. I give up my desire to get even or to get the upper hand. I release myself and them so that the relationship can grow and thrive. Interestingly enough when I show mercy to a friend I am likely to receive it back when I need it. Jesus really did know what he was talking about. When I show mercy I not only experience God's mercy in my life but I receive mercy from others, too.

What a great way to live!

What do you think?

40 Days of Love – Day 24

Say Yes to Integrity

I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. 1 Chronicles 29:17a (NIV)

When I think about integrity my thoughts go immediately back to my childhood hero, "the Lone Ranger". I remember Tonto, speaking about a bad guy, saying, "He speaks with forked tongue." That person will say whatever is necessary at the moment regardless of the truth. You and I know these kinds of people. We know that you cannot trust anything they say. Integrity is lost when we speak with a "forked" tongue.

Integrity is when my words, behavior and heart are in agreement. When what I think, say and do are consistent. This must be done in the context of a Biblical morality and truth. I can be consistent in lies and deception but that is not integrity because the truth is not involved.

I hear people talk about the integrity of a building. What they mean is the quality, strength, and stability of the structure. For me a person of integrity has those same characteristics in their character. When you are around a person of integrity you sense and see these in their character.

Integrity is essential to building anything of value and our relationships are things of value.

When you think of integrity – what do you think about?

 

40 Days of Love – Day 23

Say No to Hypocrisy

Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
Romans 12:9 (NLT)

Hypocrisy, pretending to be something you aren't, are issues we all struggle with at times. Last year Becky and I saw the stage production of "The Lion King" at the Wharton Center in Lansing. The costumes were spectacular and the actors performed behind these huge masks. The same was true when we saw "Finding Nemo" on stage at Disney's Animal Kingdom last month. The masks became the focal point and you quickly lost sight of the individual behind the mask. Now in these stage plays the masks are supposed to be what is seen. It is what makes the story come alive. These are all imaginary relationships with a script that brings the story to the end the author desires. In real life and real relationships though it is these masks that cloud and distort the story and confuse the relationship. Pretending to be something or someone we are not leaves us empty and our relationships bankrupt.

It seems to me that hypocrisy is usually associated with wanting to impress someone and you are fearful that you cannot do that so you pretend to be something you are not. It is also easy to condemn something in others that you struggle with yourself. Hypocrisy is a strange animal because you know it is a lie and yet it somehow feed your ego and makes you think you are better than others.

You cannot build deep meaningful relationships on lies. Let's stop pretending (especially that we have it all together) and begin to live lives that are true and faithful. The freedom that comes will amaze you and your life will soar.

Let's put down the masks and let others see the real you.

How do you deal with the urge to hypocrisy.

40 Days of Love – Day 22

As you judge you will be judged

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV)

This is an interesting and tough subject because we all pass judgment on things every day. I appreciated the author's distinction between judgment and discernment. Judging others here has to do with being judgmental. That it seems to me comes from and plays into my prejudices. Someone looks different and therefore I judge them according to what I see and that may be way off base. Being judgmental makes me better than the other person and I let them know it.

My experience is that people are most judgmental in others about things they struggle with themselves. How often have you heard of a pastor rail against adultery only to find out they had been in an adulterous affair for years. Or one who rails against stealing and is later found to have embezzled money from the church. It is not just pastors though that have these problems. Being judgmental certainly does involve, as the author suggests, hypocrisy, lack of integrity and no mercy.

I want my life to reflect the life of Jesus so I must first get the log out of my eye, then help my brother with the dust in his eye and then offer forgiveness and mercy. O God, help me to live like that.

What difference would it make if we at FBC lived out these verses as Jesus instructs us to live?

40 Days of Love – Day 21

Troubleshooting Communication

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21 (NASB77)

Today the author deals with responding to different kinds of attacks in your communications. Two of these lessons from Jesus I have tried to learn over the years but find them incredibly tough. Jesus never let himself be sucked into someone else's agenda. When he was being questioned or challenged or criticized he never responded in kind. He never played on their turf. With a statement or most often a piercing question he brought them onto his turf and in that changed the nature and direction of the conversation. Too often I catch myself responding or reacting to what someone says rather than looking for the underlying agenda. Too often I am quick to speak or correct or offer an answer or react to a critic and I find myself sucked into a conversation that will not have a positive ending. I find myself in these situations when I do not listen carefully and fully to what is being said and I jump to a conclusion that may or may not be accurate and once in the battle I do not retreat. This is a lesson I need to learn and practice.

The second is that in some situations Jesus remained silent. Here was the Son of God who knew the right answer and what should and needed to be said and yet he remained silent. There are some conversations that are just not worth having. There are some who are only trying to catch you in your words and then use them against you. Throughout Jesus' trials there are many times He was silent. He chose not to engage the conversation or accusation. I am quick to set the record right and that only fuels a bad situation at times. I am getting better but still need practice the discipline of keeping silent when speaking will not move the conversation forward to a godly end.

As the author says, "communication is tough" and it is not for the weak or faint of heart. Tough but rewarding and worth the risk. Lord, teach me when to speak and when to keep my mouth shut. Help me to understand what is really going on and to address the real agendas when appropriate.

What are you learning about communication?

40 Days of Love – Day 20

How to Be Truly Heard

Today marks the half way point in our 40 day journey. It has been a challenging 20 days for me. I have been confronted with how often I do not love others the way the scriptures teach. I have had to learn to slow down and look and listen; to give priority to others rather than to my schedule; to honestly express my emotions to God. I can say that these few days of practicing what I am learning have been rewarding. So my encouragement to you is to stay on the journey and practice what you are learning.

Today I was again reminded about a kind and compassionate touch. Many times words are inadequate and what is needed is simply a touch or hug that says, "you are not alone, we are in this together." I often underestimate to power of a touch. I never want to be one of the "lizardy" (my word)touchers, where people feel used or manipulated after the touch. An honest compassionate touch can bring a great sense of relief to a person. We should practice this more.

I am in awe of how Jesus controlled conversations, especially those that were intended for confrontation. You never see Jesus raising his voice or ranting. In fact most often he answered a question with a question. He simply would not engage in the hostile conversation to escalate it. He always used questions to point people to their need of a relationship with the Father. I think of how often I engage the hostility – seek to win the argument – want my point to be heard (after all it is the correct answer). I want to learn to ask those questions that stay with people and cause them to ponder their relationship with God. What good is it to win an argument and have the person die without Christ.

Lord help me today to learn how to touch people so they sense your presence and how to ask questions that point them to you. Help me to park my ego and really love people as you love me. Amen